Monty
From Borkpaedia
Monty.txt is the filename of an IRC log produced by Maveric56 on 19 March 2007. The log recounts a particular instance in the GameSurge channel #DoB wherein Wheaties (whilst operating using its alternate nick Monty), an IRC bot run by Raws, spilled forth an exceptionally unpalatable string of responses to various chat participants' queries.
Among other features, Wheaties is equipped with a "brain." Wheaties' brain is nothing more than an internal database of every message sent to the channel or channels in which he currently resides. The brain code generates 4th-order Markov chains in response to user input—that is, when a user mentions Wheaties' nickname in the chat. Though the artificial intelligence theory is too complex to explain here, higher-order Markov chains attempt to replicate the punctuation style of the input in order to create statements that make sense.
In the case of Monty.txt, Wheaties' responses stand out from his regular chatter in that they contain large chunks of content from Chemroom mixed with other seemingly random input that does not show up in the logs of any of the channels Wheaties normally idles in. This random input included derogatory statements about Disciples of Bork members, vulgar descriptions of body parts and bodily functions and overtly sexual statements, including acts of bestiality, oral sex and incest.
To read the entirety of Monty.txt, see the See Also and Links sections below.
Selections from Monty.txt
- CCP's input and Monty's first response:
<CCP> monty is writing the great american novel
<Monty> The hidden secrets of the universe and all associated companies biablo has buckteeth buckteeth are a sexy attribute of ebbe's wes uses MLA format and conforms to standards dools' legs turn me on dools, please bare your legs legs need to be hairy, like kevin's anus contains enough C4 to stick char's penis into wes at high speeds lovisa is cute lovisa has hot legs lovisa wants to fuck a moose ebbe wants to fuck a moose ebbe wants to fuck a moo
<Mt_K3> oh god
<Raws> WTF
<Mt_K3> that's awful
<Biablol> holy mo jebus
<Raws> this has to be jep's work
<CCP> what the hell
<Maveric56> oh my gosh
- Lovisa apparently has a million dollars hidden in her pants:
<Maveric56> monty lovisa
<Monty> Feeling the rush of blood "oh sma," kevin moaned lovisa is cute lovisa has a million dollars hidden in her pants nate has a huge nose i think i can fit my penis into kevin's face, ripping it apart and spilling semen into puddles of blood "oh sma," kevin moaned lovisa is cute lovisa has cute feet nate has a huge nose i think i can fit my penis into kevin's anus contains enough C4 to stick her penis slid back and forth inside his head.
<Biablol> "kevin's anus contains enough C4 to stick char's penis into wes at high speeds "
- Kevin's anus pure distilled ASS:
<Mt_K3> is this like a dirty monty brain?
<Monty> this has to be hairy, like kevin's anus pure distilled ASS walker texas swedesoldat ren & stimpy like to cockfuck each other in the corner, who took her place bent over the table and threw her to the young girl, but in her pants"
<Charslaw> Monty!
<Monty> He had torn a ligament in his thigh after an especially rough night with Sam.
- Oh dear god:
<HeadWes> Monty char
<Monty> lol "lovisa has nice graphical form lovisa would be a nice font lovisa has hot legs dools has hot legs lovisa wants to fuck a moose ebbe wants to fuck a moose ebbe wants to fuck a moose ebbe wants to fuck a moose drunk BIA WANTS A NAKED PARTY WITH DRUNK MOOSE fuckity fuck fucking fucker fuckparty fuckmoose biablo kevin sma fucking fucker wes wants char to stick her penis slid back and forth inside his head."
<Maveric56> monty has absorbed all of the horrors and filth of bia's mind
<Monty> To his surprise, he felt a slight pressure against his right eye.
<Biablol> I think you flipped the chemroom switch
<Mt_K3> i can't breathe
<Maveric56> lol
<Maveric56> bia, what did you do to monty?
<Monty> what have i unleashed?
<LadyOrca> wth monty
<Raws> I think I'm tearing up
<Monty> wth are you all talking about?
<Biablol> "fuckity fuck fucking fucker fuckparty fuckmoose " that is so cool
<Mt_K3> rofl
<CCP> BIA WANTS A NAKED PARTY WITH DRUNK MOOSE
See Also
- The Full Monty.txt (at Borkpaedia, pun fully intended)
- Wheaties
- CerealBot
